Families are systems. How healthy was yours?

If you were to study family systems, the first thing you learn is that in this system there is a hierarchy of the parent's being at the top and the children underneath. In this system, the parents have all the power. They make the choices about everything and if you as the child do not follow the rules you will be shut down. Think about it. You are given a name, a culture, a language, told where you're going to school, where you are going to live, which bedroom you are going to sleep in, which friends are acceptable, and even what kind of clothes you can wear.

Even as you are growing up, ask yourself, how often your voice was appreciated, listened to, validated, or made you feel empowered?

Once you hit your teenage years, were you making your decisions, or were they still being made for you? Did you feel accepted when you wanted to date someone of a different race, or different gender, change how you were schooled, or pick the college and the program of study that you were interested in? Most of us if we are honest, towed the family line about everything. We really didn't want to stir things up.

Systems like this make it hard for us to leave. To become fully independent. Many of us never learned to make our own decisions. We still go back to seek approval. The reality is we were not loved unconditionally. We were not accepted fully if our desires and choices were different than the rules in the home.

When you think about it, not much different than a cult, yet most of us freak out at the word cult. Have you considered why?

Family Cult Recovery program will be available on May 24, 2022. Details can be found at www.familycultrecovery.com.